Spinners are more than likely a “form of hypnosis” being used to “zombify” the masses, according to a Russian news report.
Well, apparently the only thing Russia is good is getting Donald Trump elected.
For the record, fidget spinners are cheap plastic baubles for kids amazed at the wonders of ball bearings, according to Vice. The not so bright rotating toys have a underlying purpose, which is well hidden from their physical appearance, and it’s to turn people into brainwashed zombies.
A appalling new report on Russia’s state-owned Rossiya 24 proposed the idea last week that fidget spinners were being used by the Putin opposition to lure the youth with the promise of twirling tops (and, perhaps help them get Donald Trump elected?), the New York Times reports.
“It is a mystery why it has become so popular in Russia right now,” the Rossiya reporter said. “Who is promoting this to the masses so actively?”
And, it is a mystery to me how this aired on Russian television. Typically, before airing information, research is done, and sources are used to find out what in fact is going on. I don’t think either precaution was taken by the Russia station before this aired.
In addition, Ruslan Ostashko, editor-in-chief of Kremlin-supporting news org PolitRussia, offered his two cents on the subject.
“In such a manner, our opposition is luring the youth,” Ostashko said in another Rossiya report. “Those who understand political technologies, they understand very clearly that this simple thing is controlling the masses.”
While I don’t believe the necessary research took place, Ostashko has a point. The youth masses are being controlled. And, fidget spinners is the symbol of the confined freedom the youth truly has. Yes, it’s America, and you can do whatever you want. But, the youth, or millennials, appear to only be interested in the same five things: Dunkin Donuts, Chipotle, Social Media, Tinder, and cracking open a cold one with the boys. (Indeed, there’ll be a millennial at the bottom of this article telling me what I missed, but I’m ready).
In addition, remember Pokemon Go was a thing that millennials flocked to, causing many pedestrian car accidents. So, I don’t know if Putin’s administration to blame for the this, but perhaps it’s the advancement of emerging technologies. Because of the smartphone, people were able to play Pokemon Go. But, the phone has made people dumb, as people were crossing the street without looking just to catch a Pokemon. That’s weird. So, the youth’s being lured, but it’s by their own doing.
To further drive home the point, they’re keeping up with these advanced, emerging technologies that in theory should make life easier, but it’s memorized them. All millennials want to be the one that started the new trend, and end up consuming their time focusing on dumb things. Instead, millennials should walk outside, start a conversation with someone, and enjoy life. In fact, in an ideal world the life doesn’t involve a phone at all.
With that being said, Russia’s consumer protection agency is launching an investigation to get to the bottom of luring fidget spinners to “study the effect spinners are having on children, including the possible negative impact.”
All in all, it appears the news cycle in Russia is slow. But, there’s a subtle truth to their claim. Fortunately, it appears the fidget spinner hype has died down, and is coming to close. So, by the time the investigation wraps up the findings may not mean anything, as millennials will be on to the next.
Better luck next time, Russia.
