You’re sitting down with a bottle (if you’re lucky, an alcoholic bottle) in one hand and a cheeseburger in the other. You’re not worried about work, or the fact your daughter is pouring water bottles directly onto your son’s feet. All you care about is what you’re going to eat and drink next. A thought in your mind ponders, should you ask “where’s the Kan Jam?”
Well, you’re at your (insert family member) place, so no harm. Of course, I’m talking about your annual 4th of July cook out. However, there are many pitfalls you could fall into prior to that will preventing you from attending. Avoid thise amatuer pitfalls and you’ll be smooth sailing.
First and foremost, if you’re travelling for the holiday drive the speed limit. During holidays, everyone’s driving, and that means more risk for error. The left lane, or the fast lane, is slowed down, so the right lane, or slow lane is worse. So, plan accordingly. If you want to be at your desired location by 2pm, and it takes an hour to get there, at the latest I’d leave 12:30pm. Please, don’t rush to get where you’re going if you’re still running late.
A rule of thumb, no one will remember you were 30 minutes late to the cookout, but your car insurance will remember precisely the time and day of your accident, if you have one rushing to a cookout.
Moving on, alcohol is one of the most powerful things you can put into your body, so refuse the urge to drive home after 10 shots. Hopefully, you drove with someone who has a valid license and lives close enough to Uber home. But if you’re drunk early enough that you can pass out and wake up when it’s time to leave (the latter isn’t a bad option, if you must drink) then hey! Of course, have some drinks, because it’s the holiday. Have fun, but responsible fun.
Continuation from the last pitfall, leave the fireworks to the professionals. Okay, everyone feels invincible when they’re drunk, but that doesn’t mean they are. Obviously, I’m not talking about the fire poppers, but the fire crackers and anything else that could lead to physical harm to you if you don’t execute it properly. Inevitably, wherever you are, someone’s going to have fireworks. Remember, it’s hard figuring out to execute the fireworks sober.
That said, if you’re slumped up drunk somewhere I’d stay slumped up drunk. According to Pennsylvania State Police, there are permitted novelty items/sparklers, but State law prohibits the use of Consumer and Display Fireworks in Pennsylvania without a permit. Beside the fact you’re potentially performing an illegal act, and the firework is hard to execute, you’re drunk. There’s too many variables against you for a happy ending here.
Winding the list down, remember what the holiday is for. According to History, the fourth of July, or Independence day, has been a federal holiday in the United States since 1941. However, the holiday has been celebrated since 1776 as the birth of America’s Independence. Congress voted for America’s independence on July 2nd, but didn’t approve the Declaration until the 4th.
In 2017, the holiday’s turned into a cookout celebration, as 80 percent of Americans attend a barbecue, picnic or cookout. However, 76 percent get together with family while 63 percent attend a fireworks display. Ironically, 66 percent (should be a hundred, because the holiday’s celebrating America’s independence) display an American flag.
To round things out, now that you remember what the holiday is for don’t overdo your outfit.Two of the three flag colors is fine, but very few people can pull off all three without looking like a firecracker. Less is more. Instagram pictures are cool, but avoid the cliche captions.
With that in mind, also remember to not partake in the aforementioned pitfalls on Independence day that could jeopardize your independent freedom, and you have a successful holiday celebration!
Happy Holidays!
