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Woman Divorces Ghost of 18th Century Haitian Pirate

Would you vow eternal love to a ghost?

That’s what 46-year-old and “Pirates of the Caribbean” fanatic Amanda Sparrow Large did when she married a 300-year-old pirate ghost on a boat sailing the Irish Coast. Things were looking up–she even talked with The Sun about the best positions for human-on-spirit sex. (Answer: Missionary. Because “It’s easy to feel the weight”)

Alas, the union’s relationship recently grew cold, leading Amanda to announce their break-up. No exact reason has been given as to why the relationship didn’t work out. However, Amanda states:

I will explain all in due course but for now all I want to say is be VERY careful when dabbling in spirituality, it’s not something to mess with.

Ominous…

Now I leave this to you dear readers: Describe your perfect date with a ghost.

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